Dating over 40: Red flag video with shocking twist

Banfield

(NewsNation) — There are many red flags to look out for when dating, but possibly, none bigger than this one.

“It’s Dimitri calling again — the guy from the street,” the voicemail begins.

“I left you a message several days ago. I don’t like leaving second messages, but I like you: You’re a very elegant woman, you’re very attractive, but I don’t play that game. So, here’s how it’s going to work.”

The man proceeds to give the listener, Molly Dare, a deadline to return his call before he loses interest. Dare used the voicemail in a video on TikTok that went viral, and she joined NewsNation’s “Banfield” on Wednesday to detail the creepy recording.

Dare, a podcast host in her 40s, would learn the man calling was “Demitri the Lover,” a self-proclaimed pickup artist. In the voicemail, he says he’s a “catch” and “one of the few men in the city that has nothing wrong with him.”

And while it’s not the first Demitri-like man she’s listened to, “that was probably the worst I have ever heard,” Dare said.

Demitri’s real names is James Sears, a physician who had his license revoked in 1992 after he was found guilty of professional misconduct. The man pops up on social media every few years, and Dare’s TikTok recording of his message went viral, garnering more than 1.5 million views.

“This is why you should always research and look into who you’re speaking to or going on a date with,” Dare said. “It was all quite shocking.”

While 90% of the comments were supportive, Dare was also slammed by misogynistic viewers, most of whom attacked her for being single in her 40s.

“Those 10% came in strong,” Dare said. “There’s a lot of Demitris out there.

For those on the dating scene, Dare said there are two big red flags to look out for: people who only talk about themselves, and people who don’t have any online proof of their existence.

“What are they hiding? Why are they not searchable?” Dare said of the latter group.

Dare has been married and has two children, and she said she used humor and sarcasm to respond to the trolls.

“I feel like I’m in the prime of my life, but I know there are a lot of women out there who haven’t been married yet, have chosen not to (have) kids,” Dare said. “My response to those mean comments were more to protect all of the 40-somethings.”

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